At First Spark (The Spark Brothers Book 4) Read online

Darren would never have imagined the discovery he and Danica would make when they arrived at Harold and Sally’s that evening. Even now as the two of them were leaving the older couple’s home, he still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that they might have figured out a piece of Danica’s past. All the details they’d learned about the Kaiser’s daughter having a baby who was the same age as Danica and was also dropped off at the same fire station around the same time she was—those were too similar to be coincidences. Now that the two of them were alone, Darren could finally talk to Danica about his suspicions. He only hoped she wasn’t too upset at him for ignoring her for most of the evening.

  He felt terrible about his behavior. Darren admitted it wasn’t the most mature thing to do, not by a long stretch. But he’d been feeling more vulnerable than mature, and more interested in protecting himself. But he could no longer suppress the desire within him to care for Danica. Caring for her was like second nature to him. He wanted the best for Danica, and always would, especially when it came to the things she cared about, like learning about her birth family. That’s why it troubled him that she was being so quiet.

  He rubbed the back of his neck as he walked with her to the curb where their cars were parked. The last rays of sunlight basked Danica’s face in pink and orange hues. From her intense expression, she appeared to be in deep thought. “Are you okay? You haven’t said a word since we left.”

  “I … I don’t know. I’m just processing everything that happened tonight.” When they reached her car, she paused to look back. Her eyes landed on the front door they’d just exited. “Do you think it’s possible—I can’t even believe I’m saying this—that we just met my birth grandparents? That Sally and Harold’s daughter, Jade, is my birth mom?”

  “I think it’s very possible. All the information seems to match up.”

  “It does, doesn’t it? There’s more though. I haven’t told anyone yet, but I got the results back from the genetic testing I did. It said I’m a quarter Chinese.” Her eyes widened. “Blonde-haired, blue-eyed me! Who would’ve thought?”

  Darren’s brows shot up. “That’s amazing. That’s further proof that Sally could be your grandmother. Why didn’t you say something to her?”

  “I-I think I was in shock, but I also didn’t want to get their hopes up. What if I’m not the baby Jade left at the fire station? They’d be so disappointed.”

  “But what if you are? Don’t you want to know?”

  “Of course, I want to know. I’ve wondered all my life about who I am and where I came from.” She paused, sighing. “I’m just scared things won’t turn out the way I hope they will. What if my birth mother doesn’t want to meet me? What if she already has a family and me showing up makes things awkward for everyone?”

  The uncertainty in Danica’s voice tugged at Darren’s heart. He couldn’t imagine what she must be going through. “Those are valid concerns, but things could also turn out really well. You won’t know, though, until you try.”

  “I know, I just wish ...” She chewed on her bottom lip, not looking convinced. “It would be so much easier if our lives were like a book, you know? Then we could skip ahead to the part we’re wondering about and find out what happens without all the suspense hanging over us.”

  “Do you actually do that—read ahead in a book?”

  Danica lowered her voice to barely above a whisper. “Guilty as charged.”

  Darren dropped his jaw in surprise. “Really? But doesn’t that take all the fun out of a story?”

  “A little. I know I shouldn’t, but I just have to know if a story is worth reading before I invest my time and heart into it.”

  “But haven’t you heard the saying, It’s about the journey, not the destination?”

  “Ralph Waldo Emerson—that’s his quote.”

  He gave her a blank look. “Who?”

  “He was a writer and a poet. And yes, I have heard that saying. And while it sounds great, I still prefer getting my sneak peeks in. I like knowing for sure there will be a happy ending.”

  He understood her concerns. She’d been in the dark about so many details of her life, she needed something tangible to hold onto. He wished there was something he could say to ease her mind. “You don’t need to worry. I have faith your ending is going to turn out great.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because God has His hand on you. And because you’re an amazing person, Danica, beautiful inside and out. Your birth family is going to love you. They’ll be so blessed to know you, just like I’ve been.”

  “Darren, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” She beamed at him, her gray-blue eyes lighting up. “You’re pretty amazing yourself. You’re almost too good to be true.”

  He forced out a smile at her gracious comment. He wanted to say, “Almost, being the key word,” but he held his tongue. It didn’t matter what Danica thought of him because there was no future for them. Instead he focused on the issue at hand and offered an idea. “How about we go talk to Harold and Sally now?”

  “N-now?”

  “Yeah, come on. I know how important this is to you.” He gestured for her to follow him up the driveway. Once they reached the Kaiser’s front door, he rang the doorbell.

  The door soon opened, and Sally greeted them with a look of surprise. “Hello dears. Did you forget something?”

  “Sally, there’s something Danica wants to talk to you and Harold about. Do you mind if we come in?”

  “Of course not.” Sally moved aside to allow them to enter. She motioned for them to take a seat in the living room where Harold was watching TV. “Harold, the young’uns are here again for more chit-chat.”

  “Danica, Darren, welcome back. You missed us already, did you?” Harold winked as he pointed the remote at the TV to turn it off. “What’s on your mind?”

  Darren placed a hand on Danica’s arm and motioned for her to speak.

  Danica gave him a shaky smile, then turned to Sally and Harold who were waiting expectantly on the sofa across from them. “You know the story you shared earlier about your daughter? I have a similar one like it.”

  “What do you mean?” Sally asked. “Did you drop off a baby at a fire station, too?”

  “No. I was the one who got dropped off. At station number five in Mountain View thirty-three years ago this October fifth. I was only a few days old.”

  Harold blinked quickly, clutching his chest. The cotton fabric of his polo shirt bunched up in his hand. His complexion paled, giving him a sickly green tint that matched the color of his shirt. “What did you say?”

  “Harold, are you okay?” Sally and Danica exclaimed at the same time.

  “I’m fine,” Harold reassured them quickly. “Danica, are you saying what I think you’re saying? You’re Jade’s baby?”

  “I-I know it sounds crazy and unbelievable, but I think there’s a chance I might be. It seems like too much of a coincidence.”

  “There’s more,” Darren added. “Danica recently took a genetic test that said she’s a quarter Chinese. There’s more than just a chance that she’s your granddaughter. I would say the odds are very high.”

  It was Sally’s turn to grow pale. She gasped as she pointed to the ring Danica was twisting around her left middle finger. “May I see that?”

  “This?” Danica took off her ring and passed it to Sally. “It was the only thing left with me when I was dropped off at the fire station.”

  Sally took the glasses hanging on the front of her floral blouse and put them on. With narrowed eyes, she examined the gold band and jade stone. “It looks exactly like the ring we gave Jade for her sixteenth birthday. There’s even the same scratch on the bottom of the band. She scratched it when she fell learning how to rollerblade.”

  “Jade wasn’t the most sporty person, but she liked to try new things,” Harold explained. “Her favorite pastime, though, was reading. She could devour up to three books a day.”

  Darren grinned as Da
nica’s face lit up. “Reading, huh? Did you guys know Danica owns a bookstore? She’s a bibli—what was that word again, Danica?”

  “A bibliophile,” Danica and Sally answered at the same time.

  Sally shook her head in amusement. “Why am I not surprised?”

  “It’s in the genes,” Harold declared with a wide grin.

  With tears streaming down her face, Sally walked over and gathered Danica in a tight embrace. “You, my dear, are an answer to prayer. God is so good. He brought you home to us.”

  Darren’s heart warmed to see tears falling down Danica’s face. That was definitely joy bubbling over. In fact, the atmosphere in the whole room seemed lighter, happier.

  So was Danica’s mood the second time they left the Kaiser’s home an hour later.

  After promising to visit again soon, Danica and Darren were back standing beside her car under the glow of a street lamp.

  Danica bounced back and forth on the balls of her feet with the widest smile on her face. The difference in her posture and expression from earlier was like day and night. “This evening turned out way better than I could have ever imagined.”

  “I’m so glad you got your happy ending.”

  “We still need to wait for Sally to take the DNA test to be a hundred percent sure we’re blood-related, but in my heart, I believe we are. This is all so crazy. It feels like a dream.”

  Darren chuckled. “Isn’t there a saying that truth is stranger than fiction? I don’t think you could make this stuff up even if you tried.”

  “Yep. Mark Twain said that. He’s the one who wrote—”

  “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn,” Darren finished for her. “I do know who Mark Twain is, thanks to the summer reading my mom made us do in high school.”

  “Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

  “No harm, no foul. I would’ve assumed the same thing about a guy who jokes about using books for a doorstop.”

  She threw her head back and laughed. In the dim light, her eyes looked more gray than blue, but still bright. “Thank you, Darren. I’m so glad you convinced me to talk to Sally and Harold.”

  Before he could respond, Danica took two steps forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. He inhaled sharply as her soft curves pressed against his torso. His hands went up of their own accord, resting on the small of her back. He held her, trying to memorize her scent and her warmth. This moment—whatever it was—was so rare and fleeting, he wanted to savor everything about it.

  After a moment that was far too short, Danica pulled back an inch. She lifted her long lashes and gazed into his eyes. Darren could hardly breathe, much less think. He was a heartbeat away from claiming her mouth with his, and he knew Danica wanted him to. The pull between them was intense and strong … but so was his love for her.

  He couldn’t give in to his desires when she didn’t know his whole story. That would be a cruel thing to do. So, he dropped his arms and backed out of her reach. He knew it was time to tell her the truth. “Danica, there’s something you need to know.”

  She gave him a questioning glance.

  “I can’t have children. I’m infertile.”

  The silence that followed hurt him more than he thought possible.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Danica

  Danica blinked quickly. She couldn’t have heard Darren right. Maybe the pounding of her heart in her ears was making it hard to hear because what he said didn’t make sense. “Wh-what did you say?”

  “I can’t have biological children. That’s the reason why my ex broke up with me.”

  Her mouth grew dry. Of all the things she thought had possibly gone wrong in Darren’s last relationship, this was not one of them. Not at all.

  Her gaze fell to the ground, focused on the groove in the cement where the curb met the grassy lawn. Shock and sadness grabbed hold of her body, making her shiver. Even the cardigan she wore couldn’t provide enough warmth or comfort.

  Tears pricked Danica’s eyes as Darren’s words sunk in. He was unable to have kids. That’s why he was so interested in fostering and adoption. And why he was so eager to pursue starting a family even without a wife by his side. Because the woman he had pledged to marry before had broken his heart over this issue.

  And Danica understood why.

  “You deserve a man who can give you the family you want,” Darren continued. “That’s not me.”

  He spoke the words so matter-of-factly, her heart ached. But the worst part was that she had nothing to say back. There was no optimistic answer she could give to tell him she didn’t care one way or the other, or that everything would be okay. Because she did care, and there was nothing okay about this situation.

  “I had no idea, Darren,” she blurted out, finally lifting her head. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It’s my burden to carry, not yours.”

  “But I … I want to help,” she began lamely, not having a clue as to what to say or do to make things better. “It’s a big burden. You shouldn’t have to go about this alone. We’re still friends, after all.”

  “Still friends—right.” He sighed. “It’s fine, Danica. We hardly know each other well enough for you to take this burden on. Tori and I were together for almost five years, and even that wasn’t enough.” His voice grew softer. “I’m just glad you know now. It’s better this way.”

  Better? How could this be better? She would have much rather preferred to be in the dark, when there had still been hope of a future with Darren. Knowing the truth was like finding out the ending of a story without getting a proper spoiler alert. Yet, no warning could have prepared her for this plot twist.

  She wracked her brain for something constructive to say. She didn’t know much about infertility apart from the things her mom had shared that she’d gone through. But she remembered a pile of non-fiction books she had received at the bookstore the other day. The paperbacks had all dealt with the topics of pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. One particular title came to mind: Fueling Male Fertility. Her spirits perked up as she asked, “What about a second opinion? Did you confirm this diagnosis with more than one doctor?”

  “I did.”

  “How long ago though?” she asked, unfazed. “There are new advances in science and technology every day. Maybe they’ve come up with a new kind of treatment since then.”

  “It’s more or less the same. I know there are options using IVF or donors, but they can be both lengthy and costly. I’d rather not spend the time pursuing them.”

  “What about a specialis—”

  “Danica.” Darren crossed his arms over his chest, taking on a defensive stance. “I went down this road before with my ex, and it got me nowhere. I really don’t have the energy to do it again.”

  She winced at the harsh edge in his voice. “I-I’m sorry. I only meant to help.”

  “I know, and I appreciate you trying,” he replied in a flat tone that showed no gratitude at all. “But you don’t need to be wasting your time.”

  “It’s not wasting time. In fact, I just got a new shipment of books on this very topic. I could take a look at them for you.”

  “That’s nice, but this really doesn’t concern you, so you can stop worrying about it.”

  “But you’re my friend—”

  “And as a friend—” his voice rose in frustration “—I’m asking you to drop the subject. Please stop treating me like a problem that needs to be fixed.”

  Danica’s body grew cold. Her stomach twisted into knots at Darren’s rebuke. If only she could take back everything she’d just said. What kind of friend was she to pressure him like this when he clearly didn’t want to be pushed?

  A selfish one, that’s what.

  If she was being honest, she’d fess up to having ulterior motives. She wasn’t offering to help Darren out of the goodness of her heart. Now that she knew what stood in the way of their future together, she was determined to find a way past this obstacle. Dar
ren’s infertility was a problem. A problem that she wanted—no, she needed—to fix. But what could she do when Darren didn’t want her help?

  She softened her tone. “I’m sorry for interfering. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  When Darren didn’t respond, she wondered if he’d heard her. He was staring off into the distance, his jaw set and brows furrowed. He finally cleared his throat, the deep sound cutting into the uncomfortable silence. “It’s not you. I shouldn’t have gotten upset like that. I’m frustrated with the situation more than anything.”

  “It’s okay. I understand.”

  His gaze, sorrowful and empty, came to rest on her face again. “It’s just that I had come to terms with staying single, but then you came along. Getting to know you made me want things I can’t have. Now all I can think about is how much I’m missing out on and will always be missing out on.” He rushed on to add, “Don’t feel like you need to say or do anything to make me feel better. It is what it is. Now that everything’s out in the open, you can feel free to move on.”

  Danica frowned. “Move on? What do you mean?”

  “Go meet a guy you can have a future with. There’s no reason for you to spend time getting to know me anymore.”

  “Darren, don’t say that.”

  “I’m being realistic, Danica. We’re not compatible. This isn’t a matter of you being a bookworm and me not liking to read. You want children of your own. I-I can’t give that to you.”

  “But … that’s it? We’re not even going to try?”

  “I can’t let you waste your time on me. I know there’s the weekend in Napa coming up, then Aiden and Abby’s wedding, but once those are over, we should go our separate ways.”

  Danica’s eyes filled with tears. She and Darren hadn’t even officially dated, but it felt like they were breaking up. “W-we can’t be friends anymore?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe sometime down the line.”

  She shook her head in disbelief. “This doesn’t feel right. We’ve been through so much together. How can we cut things off like none of it happened?”