At First Spark (The Spark Brothers Book 4) Read online

  “Because it’s the right thing to do,” he replied simply. “I care about you too much, Danica, to drag things on when there’s no reason to. It’s better this way.”

  “Better for who?”

  “For both of us. I should let you go. Have a good night.” And with those words, he walked to his car, leaving her standing on the sidewalk alone.

  Danica scoffed as she watched him drive away. Darren had let her go in more ways than one. Did he think this was a noble move on his part? He hadn’t even given her a chance to process the news he’d told her. But even if he had, would she feel or think differently about the situation? Or had Darren saved them both from more heartbreak and done the right thing as he said he had?

  Why, Lord, why? Why had God allowed her to meet and befriend such an amazing guy like Darren who seemed perfect in every way—only to find out he wasn’t? It was like reading the terribly unfulfilling ending to a story that had started off so well. She hated books that seemed to have so much potential from the looks of the cover and the blurb, but ended up being a waste of her time. But the stubborn part of her that always forced herself to finish every book she started told her not to give up on Darren just yet.

  She sighed, her shoulders falling in defeat. She liked Darren and had been seriously considering a future with him, but that future always included children. Children with his wavy brown hair and her blue eyes. A son or daughter with his aptitude for climbing walls or her ability to devour up to three novels a day. Kids who resembled and reminded her of the two of them.

  She knew there was more to family than DNA alone. But for someone who had never known her birth family, until possibly tonight, she craved that biological connection. Being able to have children of her own would be a way of discovering those missing pieces. That’s all she ever really wanted, to unlock the greatest mystery of her life: herself.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Darren

  Darren cracked open his driver’s side window, letting the summer breeze warm up the inside of his car. Brushing some wayward strands of hair from his eyes, he sped along I-680, heading north, toward the quaint town of Napa.

  His younger brother, Evan, was fast asleep in the passenger seat, recovering from an early flight that morning. After a two-hour drive, they were nearing their destination to meet up with Aiden and Abby for their bachelor/bachelorette getaway. The only ones not joining them were Brandon and Bria, who were still adjusting to having a newborn, but everyone else from the wedding party would be present.

  Everyone, including Danica.

  Darren rubbed a hand over the soft fabric of his cotton T-shirt, trying to soothe the tension in his chest. A dull ache had settled there over the past week since he told Danica they couldn’t be friends. It didn’t make sense though. There wasn’t a good reason for him to be experiencing heartache. He and Danica hadn’t officially dated; they hadn’t even kissed. Yet, there was a tangible void in his life without any new texts or calls from her. He couldn’t blame anyone but himself for the lack of communication when he was the one who’d pushed her away.

  Danica may not have come out and said she no longer thought of him as a romantic prospect, but it’d been clear in her silence and uncertain answers. Putting a pause to their friendship was the right thing to do, he was sure of it.

  Now if only there was a way he could avoid her this weekend.

  Evan stirred beside him, stretching his arms and rubbing his eyes as he craned his head to look out the window. Dry, brown fields stretched out on both sides of them as far as they could see. “It smells and looks so nice and fresh here, nothing like So Cal. You can actually see the sky, and would you look at that—it’s blue. No gray, thick smog hanging over our heads. This is just the change of scenery I needed.”

  Darren smiled. Evan had a certain charm about him that could energize a room. Even his bold outfit of bright orange shorts paired with a white button-down shirt radiated his positivity. “You should come home more often, Ev. Get some clean air in your lungs. We’ve hardly seen you this year. I mean in person; tabloid covers don’t count.”

  Evan lifted his shades onto his head of dark hair, revealing a pair of brown eyes much like Darren’s. With a playful smirk, he remarked, “There, how’s that? You can stare at me all you want this weekend, bro. Get your fill.”

  Darren gave him a sideways glance before rolling his eyes. He took the glasses off Evan’s head and gestured for him to put them back on his face. “That’s more than enough,” he joked. “But seriously, Evan, it feels like your show’s taken over your life. They’ve been having you do some questionable things lately. Taking drugs and sleeping around—that’s not who you are.”

  “Exactly,” Evan replied in a clipped voice, “it’s not me doing those things. It’s my character, who happens to be a teenager going through a hard time with his parents’ divorce. He’s struggling, which is what people do. I’m doing my job to portray that.”

  “I get it.” Darren knew it was little use to argue with Evan, who was the most stubborn one of them. “But I wonder if the things you’re pretending to do will start affecting you emotionally. You know how attached you get to the characters you play.”

  Evan sighed, sounding much wearier than a man of twenty-six. “I appreciate your concern, Dare, but you don’t have to worry about me. Really.”

  “But—”

  Holding up a hand in protest, Evan cut him off. “I can already tell you’re going to be one of those overbearing dads who won’t let his kid off the hook about anything. Man, I feel sorry for my future nieces and nephews.”

  Darren winced. What a sore topic to bring up, especially after the foster parenting orientation he’d attended yesterday. He had originally thought parenthood was finally within reach, that it would be possible for him to be fostering a child within the year. Now, though? He’d be lucky to complete the prerequisites he needed to even submit an application. His unconventional work schedule varied from month-to-month, making it next to impossible to find three consecutive Saturday mornings to take the intro course. Plus, he had learned that whoever would be looking after the child while he was at work would need to go through the licensing process, too. He didn’t know if any of his brothers would be willing to do that.

  Now Evan was calling him out over his parenting skills. Was his younger brother right? What if he wasn’t cut out to have kids? He gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I’m not trying to be overbearing. But I don’t know how else to be.”

  “Be like Dad. He trusts us to do our own thing. Mom, on the other hand …” Evan laughed, the sound coming out forced. “Mom’s like you, or you’re like Mom. You guys worry way too much. Thank God Dad’s there to keep Mom in check.”

  “Yeah, they do make a good team.” Darren couldn’t agree more. Their parents were very much one another’s better half. It was their mixture of strengths and weaknesses that brought a sense of balance to their parenting. Without their mom, their spontaneous and adventurous dad would forget about mealtimes and sleeping. Without their dad, their mom would be too caught up in following a schedule to have fun.

  Darren remembered Brandon’s comment the other week that it was best for children to have a mother and a father. Would he be able to fulfill both roles as a single parent? It would be a challenge for sure.

  Their conversation died down as they exited the freeway. The scenery outside their windows changed from shades of browns to greens. Trees flanked both sides of the road, with tall buildings in the distance. Darren steered the car onto the street leading to the downtown area.

  They soon came upon a row of stately-looking brick buildings sitting along the banks of the Napa River. Dozens of luxury restaurants, hotels, and stores had replaced the strip-mall-style shopping center that had stood there during their last visit years ago.

  “They’ve really upgraded the place,” Evan exclaimed, gazing out the window. “How much do you want to bet that shopping’s on the agenda this weekend?”

&nb
sp; “Between mud baths, winery tours, and a hot air balloon ride, I don’t think there’ll be much time.”

  “Stop the car—over there!” Evan tapped Darren’s arm and pointed to a boutique clothing shop to their left. A petite redhead in a white dress was admiring the window display. “I was right, there’s Emma getting her shopping on. The other girls are there, too.”

  Squinting against the bright sunlight reflecting off the windshield, Darren looked for any sign of their brothers. He spotted Aiden and Colin sitting outside a cafe next door to the clothing store. “I see the guys. Let me park, and we can meet up with them.”

  “Cool. I’m gonna surprise Em first.” Evan’s dark brown eyes lit up with mischief as the car came to a stop. “See you in a bit.”

  Darren turned off the engine and pocketed his car keys. He watched Evan run up to Emma as she and the other women were about to enter the store. A familiar blonde head turned around, causing his heart to skip a beat. There was Danica looking as gorgeous as ever in a dark pink sleeveless dress. Darren couldn’t bear looking at her, yet he also couldn’t tear his eyes away. Every fiber in his being longed to run up to her and take her into his arms, yet he forced himself to sit still. Only after she’d disappeared through the door did he dare exit his car.

  He could already tell it was going to be a very long weekend.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Danica

  Danica’s stomach dropped as soon as she saw Darren walking toward the bench where his brothers sat outside the boutique. She ducked behind a rack of dresses and pretended to be interested in the merchandise, although her eyes couldn’t help darting toward the storefront. Just a glimpse of Darren made her heart ache and long to be near him. They hadn’t spoken or seen each other in a week, and as the saying went, absence certainly did make the heart grow fonder. She missed talking to Darren and hearing the sound of his deep, smooth voice. Rereading his old texts just wasn’t the same.

  There was so much she wanted to catch him up on, and so much she wanted to ask about his week. They’d shared some good times together, and even one harrowing one. And now they were supposed to act like nothing had happened? It hurt to think they couldn’t even be friends.

  “Hey, did you find something you like?” Abby appeared by her side, her brown eyes narrowed as she studied Danica through her thick-framed glasses. Her gaze followed Danica’s to the window. “Oh, wait, you found someone you like. That makes more sense. I didn’t think you were a leather dress kind of girl.”

  Danica casually lifted a maroon leather dress from the rack and held it up to herself. “What’s wrong with leather? I could totally pull this off.” Even as the words left her lips, her eyes widened as she noticed the plunging neckline that dipped to the waistline. “Okay, maybe not this particular style.”

  Shaking her head in pity, Abby took the dress from Danica and hung it back up. “Admit it, you’re dying to talk to Darren. So, go! You can’t avoid him all weekend.”

  “I-I totally can, and I will,” Danica spluttered, knowing full well her answer was as ridiculous as it sounded.

  “That’s crazy talk, and we both know it. Now come on. Put on your big girl pants and go say hi.”

  Danica gasped as Abby pushed her toward the front of the store. Without the rack of clothes behind, Danica felt naked and exposed. Her sneakers squeaked across the shiny floor as she stopped in her tracks. “Abs, I’m just not ready to talk to him. And he doesn’t want to talk to me. He said there’s no point when there’s no possibility of a future together.”

  Abby planted her hands on her hips, wrinkling the hem of her striped shirt. She narrowed her eyes and asked, “Is there really no chance for you guys? You’ve had some time to think things over. Do you still feel the same?”

  “I … yeah, pretty much,” Danica answered truthfully. She had given the situation a lot of thought. She’d even asked God to take away her desire for biological children. But no amount of thinking and praying had changed the yearning in her heart. “I keep going back and forth. One minute I’m okay with the idea of not having biological children; the next minute, I can’t imagine not being able to. I’m so torn.”

  Abby gave her a sympathetic look.

  “I feel so bad,” Danica rushed on. “I’m rejecting Darren over something he doesn’t have any control over. It’s not fair.”

  “Yeah, well, not much in this world is fair. I wish I had a better answer for you or a Bible verse to remind you of that would help. But that’s usually your department.” Using her palm, Abby lifted her glasses higher onto the bridge of her nose. “All I know is that there are plenty of bad fish in the sea, and it practically takes a miracle to find a good one. Somehow, we came across a family with five good ones. I don’t think any of our meetings were by chance, Dannie. God allowed them to happen. You have to admit there’s a reason why you and Darren can’t stop staring at each other.” Abby grinned and pointed at the doorway.

  “Huh?” Danica looked to where Abby was pointing and felt her body warm. There was Darren, less than ten feet away, looking as handsome as ever. His tall form filled the doorway of the store. With his arms crossed over his chest, his posture screamed strength and confidence, but Danica knew the gentleness and vulnerability that lay hidden beneath all the brawn. She had felt it in the way he held her while they danced a few weeks ago. And she sensed it in the way he was looking at her now. The way a man looked at the woman he treasured.

  Their eyes met for a second before he dropped his gaze and backed away.

  She winced. Would she ever find another man as amazing as Darren? Because honestly, she couldn’t imagine anyone coming close.

  Before Danica could respond, she felt her feet moving of their own accord as Abby once again nudged—no, make that shoved—her out of her comfort zone. She shot her best friend a wide-eyed glare over her shoulder. Abby replied with two thumbs-up. Danica scoffed as she made her way out of the shop.

  The dry heat enveloped her as soon as she stepped onto the brick walkway. Blinded by the sunlight, she didn’t realize she was about to bump into Darren who was standing outside the store. He caught her with his strong arms around her waist. Danica soon found herself snuggled up against his chest, finding comfort in his masculine scent and warmth. Darren’s hold on her tightened for a split second before he pulled back. She looked up to find his head turned away, his arms crossed over his chest.

  “This is harder than I expected,” he muttered.

  “What’s harder?”

  He hesitated before glancing her way. “Pretending that I don’t care about you.”

  Danica’s heart ached. The pain in his eyes was tangible. “Darren, I-I wish …” She faltered, not knowing what else to say. Wishes didn’t mean anything at this point. Even truth fell flat. Several promises from the Bible ran through Danica’s mind, but they all rang empty in that moment, especially the verse from Romans 8:28. If God was working everything together for good for those who loved Him, she couldn’t see it. What was so good about having to choose between giving up on her dream or giving up the man of her dreams? “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize.” Darren faced her, barely looking her in the eyes. “It is what it is. I’ll find a way to deal with it. Just don’t take it personally if I keep my distance this weekend. I think that’ll make it easier for everyone.”

  Danica wanted to laugh at the irony of his statement. How was she supposed to not take it personally when she would be the only one Darren avoided? She simply nodded, then watched as he walked away, feeling as if a part of her heart was leaving, too. She hated ending their conversation like this. “Darren?”

  He stopped and turned around. “Yes?”

  Now that she had his attention, she didn’t know what to say. She wracked her brain for something to talk about. “I, uh, wanted to ask how the orientation went yesterday. I know how excited you were about it.”

  He jammed his hands into the pockets of his shorts and shrugged. “It was fine. Thanks
for asking.”

  “That’s good. I know the process for fostering can be overwhelming, so if you have any questions—”

  “I won’t, but thank you.” Darren turned to leave, this time for good.

  Sighing, Danica returned to the store where Abby was not-so-subtly spying out the window. “So, how did it go?”

  “He hates me,” Danica lamented. “He can’t even look at me.”

  “Darren does not hate you. He likes you too much to hate you.” Abby looped her arm around Danica’s shoulders and gave her a side hug. “He’ll come around. We just need to keep praying.”

  Danica sighed. If only she had an ounce of Abby’s optimism. The only thing she was sure of was that this was the start to a very long and uncomfortable weekend.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Darren

  After two days of avoiding Danica, Darren could think of a dozen things he’d rather be doing than sitting in a mud bath beside her. Even still, he forced himself to stay and listen to the spa attendant who was giving them last minute instructions rather than bolt out the door. The last thing he wanted to do was create a scene, which he would do if he ran off barefoot wearing only a fuzzy white bathrobe over his swim trunks. With his arms crossed and jaw clenched, he reminded himself that this weekend was about Aiden and Abby, not about feeling sorry for himself.

  Today was the last day of their trip, one he and Danica had planned for rest and relaxation. The eight of them had driven about forty minutes north of Napa to a smaller town called Calistoga, which was known for its hot mineral springs. They had quickly split up into pairs upon arriving at the spa, or rather, everyone else had done so, leaving him and Danica as a default couple. He was now stuck spending time with the last person he wanted to be near—stuck being the most appropriate word choice.