At First Spark (The Spark Brothers Book 4) Read online

  Focus!

  She scolded herself for getting caught up in his appearance yet again. What was it with Darren? She had never cared that much about looks before. The handful of guys she had gone out with during college and in her twenties had been more studious, even a bit nerdy. They didn’t stand out in a crowd, which had been fine with her. But they also hadn’t made her feel like she was sitting too close to a fire, leaving her hot and bothered with thoughts that made her blush.

  Danica groaned inwardly. She really needed to get her priorities straight. Releasing a breath, she tried again.

  Number one: Darren’s faith. He had a personal relationship with Jesus.

  Number two: His heart. He was so kind and caring.

  Number three: His sense of humor. He had no trouble making her laugh.

  Number four … what was number four?

  “Don’t you think so?”

  She blinked, realizing that Darren was looking at her with concern. “Hm? Sorry, I missed what you said.”

  “I was telling you about my buddy, Julian. He’s also a believer and he loves to read. Don’t you think you guys would get along well?”

  “Oh, well, I don’t know. I haven’t met him, so it’s hard to say. But he must be a nice guy if you’re friends with him. I mean, anyone who works as a first responder has to be an awesome person. Just like you,” she added with a tone of awe.

  He shook his head insistently. “We’re like everyone else, just doing our job.”

  And now Danica knew what number four was: Darren’s humility.

  “So, would it be all right to give Julian your number?”

  “Huh?”

  “He’s excited to take you out.”

  Danica winced. Once again, Darren was firmly drawing the line between friendship and something more with six little words. He obviously wasn’t interested in her if he was setting her up with his friend. “Um, I guess so.”

  “So, it’s a yes?”

  “Uh, okay.”

  “Cool, I’ll set it up. You guys will have a great time.”

  She narrowed her eyes as she observed Darren’s expression. His tone came across as firm and sure, but she thought she spotted a flicker of unease in his eyes. He suddenly broke off his gaze, letting it travel to somewhere behind her.

  Danica turned to see Brandon walking out of the double doors leading to the labor and delivery suite. He looked exhausted with his blond hair sticking up and his shirt creased with wrinkles, but a bright smile curved his lips.

  Darren stood up and walked over to greet his older brother at the same time Aiden and Abby reached Brandon’s side. They exchanged hugs and a couple of words before Aiden and Abby followed Brandon through the doors.

  “The baby’s here,” Darren announced as he returned to his seat. “Aiden and Abby are going to see her first.”

  Her ears picked up at the word her. “It’s a girl?”

  “Yep. A little girl. Now I’ve got a nephew and a niece to spoil.”

  The pride in Darren’s voice made a lump form in Danica’s throat. “You’re such a good uncle. I really appreciate how you treat Seth like he’s always been a part of your family. No one would be able to tell you weren’t related by blood.”

  “Seth and Brandon are so alike; they might as well share the same genes. Anyways, Bran did adopt him, so he’s a Spark now, whether he likes it or not,” he joked.

  “I wish everyone thought of adoption that way. Some people only see it as a piece of paper and can’t help but treat you like an outsider.” A heavy sigh escaped her lips before she could stop it. This conversation was steering itself into uncharted territory. She wasn’t sure how much she wanted to say. She didn’t normally go around broadcasting to the world that she’d been adopted.

  Darren gave her a curious glance. “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience?”

  There was a gentleness in his tone that enveloped her like a warm blanket. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know her more. This openness prompted Danica to share her story. “My parents adopted me when I was a baby. Growing up, kids at school used to tease me about it. Even a couple of my cousins treated me differently. I was like the black sheep of the family, well, more like the blonde one among all my dark-haired relatives.”

  Darren’s brows rose high on his forehead. “I had no idea.”

  “I don’t talk about it much. I actually didn’t tell Abby until we’d been friends for a year.” In true Abby fashion, she hadn’t cared one way or another that Danica was adopted. She said Danica should be thankful to have two parents who loved each other and who loved her. Even still, Danica had a very deep desire to find her birth parents. “It’s not that I’m embarrassed or ashamed about being adopted. I thank God every day for my mom and dad. It’s just been a sensitive topic for me to talk about.”

  Darren nodded thoughtfully. “I get it. You’re worried about what people would think of you. It’s something that you can’t change, so if people can’t accept that part of you, they essentially can’t accept you.”

  Danica blinked in surprise. Darren really did understand where she was coming from. “Exactly. That’s exactly how I feel. Thanks for validating my feelings. It’s really refreshing to talk to someone who understands.”

  “I’m honored you’d share something so personal with me, Danica.” He gave her a tender smile. “I think it’s special that you were adopted. Adoption is a subject really close to my heart.”

  That was the last thing she expected Darren to say. “It is? Are you planning to adopt one day?”

  “If the Lord allows me to, I’d love to adopt a couple of kids.” His brown eyes twinkled with enthusiasm. “I’m open to fostering, too. My family fostered two sisters when I was in high school. By then only Evan and I were home. I think my parents missed the noise of a full house. Plus, my mom was happy to finally have some girls around.”

  “That’s awesome. I’d like to adopt one day, too. It’s my dream to be able to give a child a forever home like my parents gave me. Assuming God gives me a husband who has the same desire, too,” Danica added wistfully. That had always been her plan since she was young. To have a couple of children of her own, then to adopt one or two.

  “That’s awesome.” He paused, a thoughtful look crossing his face. “You know, you’re actually the first person I’ve met—”

  “Who’s also serious about adopting?” she finished for him. “Same here. This is like nothing short of a miracle.” Danica always knew it would be a challenge to find a like-minded man. None of the men she’d dated in the past had expressed an interest in having children, much less, in adoption. She’d chalked up their disinterest to the fact that they were still young. But here was Darren, in his late twenties, thinking about settling down. And he was kind, handsome, and a believer. What were the chances?

  “It looks like we have something in common after all,” he remarked warmly.

  Danica returned his smile, feeling a hopeful flutter in her stomach. Who would have thought this situation could turn around so quickly? Maybe God was answering her prayers after all. If that was the case, she’d be rethinking not only her decision to ask Darren out, but the whole possibility of a future with him.

  Chapter Seven

  Darren

  Darren held his newborn niece close to his chest and savored her sweet scent. Already a week after Sofie’s birth, he had come over to Brandon and Bria’s on his first day off to visit with them. Even though he himself was tired, he had taken over baby duty for the past hour to allow the rest of the family to sleep. Being alone also gave him the chance to think and process through the latest events that had happened.

  His last conversation with Danica had been surprising, to say the least. He’d had no idea she was adopted or that she was interested in adoption. Both pieces of information had given him a sliver of hope that women with the same interests as him existed. Women like Danica who wanted to open up their hearts and homes to children in need.

&nb
sp; There was a catch though: She did still long for children of her own.

  As much as he wanted to hope for a future with Danica, he remembered the comment she’d made at the baby shower. How she looked forward to carrying and birthing her own children someday. Unfortunately, he would never be the one to make that happen.

  Darren’s stomach sank, but his spirits immediately lifted as he stared into Sofie’s bright blue eyes. He could already see traces of Brandon in her, in how she shared his same fine blonde hair and attached earlobes. It was amazing to think that this little person also shared DNA with him. A bittersweet smile quirked his lips. At least there was a part of him that would live on in Sofie, as well as any other children his brothers would have in the future.

  “How’s she doing?” Brandon murmured softly from the doorway of the living room. Taking soft steps, he walked over and sat down next to Darren on the couch. He looked happy, despite the dark circles under his eyes. His rumpled T-shirt and sweatpants confirmed he’d just rolled out of bed. “She seems pretty content in your arms.”

  “She’s good. I’m pretty content myself.” Sofie was so small, she fit perfectly in the crook of Darren’s elbow. Compared to all the heavy things he carried on the job, a seven-pound baby barely required any effort on his part. He leaned back against the throw pillows and let himself relax into them. “There’s something about babies that makes you feel so at peace. I could hold her like this all day long.”

  “I know what you mean. Even though I’m exhausted from getting up throughout the night, all the aches and pains fade away when I look at her.” Brandon laid a hand on the white and yellow striped blanket covering Sofie and gave her a gentle pat. “There are no words to describe how amazing it is to be a parent. I had already experienced some of it when I adopted Seth. Now to have Sofie, to have gone through the whole pregnancy and birth, it’s … indescribable.”

  Darren nodded even as he released a heavy breath. There was such awe in Brandon’s voice. If he, as an author, couldn’t find the right words to describe this experience, it had to be mind-blowing. “I’ll take your word for it.”

  Brandon suddenly reddened. “I’m sorry, Dare. I didn’t mean to be insensitive toward you.”

  “It’s no biggie,” Darren answered, keeping his tone light. He hated that his family had to walk on eggshells around him when it came to the topic of kids. “This is a big deal for your family. Don’t feel like you have to hold back on account of me.”

  “I know, but still …”

  “I mean it, Bran.” He turned to face his older brother, fixing a firm look in his direction. “You’re not the first guy I know to have a baby, and you won’t be the last. It’s all right.”

  Brandon drew his brows together. “I still wish things could be different for you.”

  “Me, too. But I’m trying to stay positive and think about what I can do to become a dad.” Darren had been doing a lot of research online, reading everything he could about adoption, from statistics to personal stories. He paused, wondering how Brandon would take his next statement. “I’m considering adoption as a single parent.”

  Brandon’s eyes opened wide. “What about waiting until after you’re married?”

  “Who knows when that will happen, Bran, or if it ever will. I figure, why wait when I can adopt now? I read that a fourth of the kids adopted out of the foster system are adopted by singles. If they can do it, so can I.”

  “I’m not saying you can’t. It’s just that being a parent is hard, even when you have a spouse. Being a single parent—” Brandon yawned “—I can’t even imagine what that’s like. I know how hard it was for Bria to raise Seth on her own before. If I had to raise Seth and Sofie by myself, I’d be lost. I think if it’s at all possible, kids are meant to have both a mom and a dad.”

  Darren sat up straighter, surprised to hear his usually soft-spoken brother being so opinionated. He understood Brandon’s concerns, yet he couldn’t help feeling that Brandon didn’t understand his. “But the longer I wait around, the longer it’ll be before I can have my own family. It already takes anywhere from six months to a year to complete the adoption process.”

  “What’s the rush, Dare?”

  Darren looked down at his niece as she dozed off, her small hand placed under her chin like she was in deep thought. He couldn’t get over how wonderfully made she was. Every fiber in him wanted a little one just like her to call his own. He lifted his gaze to meet Brandon’s. With a wistful smile, he admitted his innermost desire. “I want what you have. I want what Aiden, Colin, and Evan will have in the future. I want a family to love and take care of.”

  Brandon placed a hand on Darren’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You will. I have faith God will give you your own family. It took me and Bria nearly a dozen years to find each other again, but we did. Everything worked out for the best in God’s timing. It’ll work out for you, too.”

  “Maybe.” Darren shrugged. Faith had been a lot easier when he was a kid longing for the latest toy, not yearning for a family. These days, he could only think about what he couldn’t have, especially when the idea of being a father taunted him every time he saw men with their children. “I’m just tired of waiting, tired of being the odd one out.”

  “You, the odd one out?” Brandon gave him an incredulous look. “Remember who you’re talking to. I’m the only blond, blue-eyed one out of the five of us. And the only one who never had a real relationship before Bria. You were actually the first one of us to get engaged.”

  Darren scoffed. “And look where that left me. Getting engaged doesn’t mean a thing if you can’t make it down the aisle. I don’t want to go through that disappointment again. Adopting on my own is the only way to guarantee I’ll have a family.”

  Brandon pursed his lips. “What about your other options?”

  “What options?”

  “How about being up front with the women you date and telling them from the start that you want to adopt, and can only adopt?” Brandon added in a gentle tone.

  Darren scoffed. “That would only scare away every woman out there.” While his older brother was a successful romance author, he was probably the last person who should be giving out dating advice. “You can’t bring up marriage and kids on your first date.”

  “You’re right. That would not go over well if one of my characters did that. It must be the sleep deprivation.” Brandon rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I’ve never been so tired in my life. Would you believe the other day, I handed Seth the bottle I had prepared for Sofie? But the best part is that he took it and drank from it.”

  The brothers shared a laugh, careful to keep their voices low so as not to wake the baby.

  Brandon’s chuckling soon turned into a yawn. He rubbed a hand over his face and sat in silence. After a moment, he turned to Darren with raised brows. “Have you thought about in vitro?”

  “According to the doctor, my count is so low, it would be next to impossible for me to father a child.”

  “I meant that one of us could be a donor. I bet Colin would be the first one to volunteer if you asked.”

  “He probably would.” Darren chuckled thinking about their fun-loving, big-hearted middle brother. “I did consider it, but I thought it might make things too complicated. This wouldn’t just affect you guys, but also your significant others.”

  “That’s a good point. Then how about an outside donor?”

  Darren shook his head. “Still as complicated, if not more. It could be a long and heartbreaking road. I wouldn’t want to put anyone through that. Anyway, I’ve always wanted to adopt, so that’s the route I’m going to pursue.”

  “Well, it would be nice for you to pursue finding a wife, too.” Brandon yawned again before he made another suggestion. “You could always try bringing up the issue of marriage and kids on the second or third date. By then, any woman who’s gone out with you that many times would be so enraptured with you and your muscles, she’d probably propose to you firs
t.”

  Darren rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Bran. I highly doubt that.”

  “What about Danica? I know she’s interested in you. I can tell you’re interested in her, too. You guys are already friends. Maybe you could talk to her about it without being obvious.”

  He sighed deeply. “I have, and it’s not good news. But it won’t matter how I feel about her after tonight. I set her up with Julian from work. They’re going out for dinner and dancing.” His chest tightened at the thought of Julian having the chance to hold Danica in his arms. “It’s better this way.”

  Brandon looked at him like he had just said the house was on fire. “I know you’re all about making sacrifices, but this is crazy. Imagine if Julian and Danica do hit it off, how will you feel having to see the two of them together? What if they end up getting married? Did you consider that possibility?”

  Darren gulped. He hadn’t thought that far, but Brandon made a good point. However, if the two of them were truly as compatible as he thought, they deserved a lifetime of happiness. “I-I’d be happy for them.”

  “It’s me, Dare.” Brandon’s tone was even more gentle than usual. “You don’t have to put up a front with me.”

  He shot his brother a wry smile. “I know. The front’s not for you; it’s for me.”

  Such was his life.

  All this talk about relationships and kids was putting a damper on his mood. Deciding he’d rather be alone, Darren placed Sofie in Brandon’s arms and rose from the couch. After promising to visit again soon, Darren headed out to his car. It was going to be a long evening. Julian had promised to call as soon as the date was over, but at this point, Darren dreaded hearing his update. Not when it involved the woman he longed for but couldn’t have.

  As he was about to pull away from the curb, his phone suddenly buzzed. He picked it up from the center console and swiped it open. A photo of his red-headed colleague appeared on the screen. Julian? It was too early for his date with Danica to be over. Why was he calling now?